Month: March 2017

I was getting some hellish double-vision

and balance difficulties so Doc P put me on a titration–taper–schedule to get off of Banzel, that I’d been on since June of 2013 after getting off of Dilantin that I’d been on for 39 years. Hope you’re taking mental Post-its, some drugs will work very well for me, for a period of time that is, then I become more or less immune to them, this is known as drug-resistant, they have to increase the dosage to the point that side effects become intolerable. Doc P was tapering me off of Banzel. Last appointment I had to fill out the psych sheet and the physical sheet. One of the questions on the psych sheet is on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being none, and 5 meaning pleasure all the time would you rate your pleasure. Sounds like a masturbation query to me. I always rate my pleasure as a 5 because I usually feel fantastic, some days a six, some a ten, some days I’ve got mental retro-rockets on and I’ve shot over 100. If you rate yourself lower than a 5 or god help you if you rate your pleasure scale as a 1 they are going to think you’re really having psych side effect problems and want you to see a shrink or a therapist (didn’t mean a sex therapist either). There are other questions on the psych sheet because anti-epilepsy drugs are processed through the brain that is home to the psyche, listed on the side effect sheets for anti-epilepsy drugs is potential for a rare 1 in 500 (0.2%) suicidal thoughts or actions, some strange ones like compulsive actions (wonder if that includes chronic masturbation), mania, depression, mood swings, and many other things. On the physical side, side effects of Dilantin are lowered free testosterone and with that presumably ED (erectile dysfunction). I’ve never had any problems getting erect and staying erect. Maybe that pleasure scale rating thing is are you having sexual problems, not getting up, not having orgasms, diminished sensitivity in penis head or clitoris, and do you need to talk sexual stuff with your doctor, or of course a shrink or a therapist. I’ve lived on my own, alone for 19 years now and have no problems getting an erection. My last girlfriend was back in 1992, so, it’s been 25 years of sexual solitude. I’ll do the math for you, 1 girl meets 1 boy, they fall in love or infatuation 1 + 1 = 2, the relationship became rocky and they split apart and that 2 is back to 1, the girl goes her own way, the boy goes his own way, maybe she finds another relationship, maybe she doesn’t and he or me doesn’t find another relationship. That girl and I had our problems as any man woman relationship will from time to time, I think I loved her, hell, still do love her but maybe she likes 25 years of sexual solitude. Don Miller, you’ll forget to put any clothing on someday and walk outside naked, she put me on Briviact new AED because on the physical sheet under goals for this appointment I put get rid of double vision and new drug ? Double vision was really knocking me on my ass. Doc P said the latest drug to come out is Briviact (brivaracetam) that is a relative of Keppra (levatiracetam) (levitaracetam) and plans were made, yet another titration schedule to get me off of Banzel entirely and on Briviact. End of story, I now am off of Banzel and on Briviact, the story doesn’t end there as I was sleeping 4 hours during daytime hours and hardly getting any writing done at all, and that does not aid in your productivity in trying to make a living as a professional writer.¬† Another drug I’m on called Lamictal (lamotrigine) was lowered 100 mg on the breakfast dose so hopefully that will help. Of course I probably wouldn’t be so damn tired if I didn’t stay up until 1 am on Facebook writing post after post. Tomorrow I’ll have another credit for an Audible book, maybe something by Stephen King or his son Joe Hillstrom King whose pen name is Joe Hill.


Excessive masturbation does not cause epilepsy: The NASCAR-Zen of Epilepsy Life’s Strange Detour

That’s the title of the latest epilepsy memoir I’m currently working on and plan on having out on the Big A by July 4, this one really hangs my dirty laundry: physical and psychiatric out for public view. There are events, some complimentary and some very not complimentary in Zen Buddhist Koan lists and a separate Koan for each event. Masturbation is mentioned quite extensively as follows

In Victorian times it was thought that excessive masturbation caused epilepsy, this by some uptight religious with strait-laced mores and enlightened sensibilities. No shit, that is what they thought, and a bizarre thought it is, excessive masturbation  causing epilepsy. I have a question for those ignorant learned ones, just how much is excessive and how did you decide that an E-person got epilepsy from excessive masturbation. My epilepsy has a medically documented physical cause, I did not get it by masturbating to excess.

I really have to decide if certain activities should be mentioned or not. There is a term full disclosure but there is also such a thing as revealing too much. I suppose if I am in a way baring my soul and practicing honesty I shall include them.

A koan: is a story, dialogue, question, or statement, which is used in Zen practice to provoke the “great doubt” and test a student’s progress in Zen practice.